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When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.”The two sat...sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: “Are you a real pilot?”He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”Forwarded compliments of John A. By Jeff Foxworthy:If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation. .(the entire story is available as a Kindle Download from Amazon under the title, A CRACK ON THE BEACH (65 pages!) Enjoy.“Do you want to see more of her?” I asked quietly, my breath out of sync.She kept looking at my wife, moulding her breasts, almost mashing them. She took her time in replying. She finally nodded, not even glancing my way. I stood up and took off my shorts, but kept my underpants on. As much as I wanted to be naked, I didn't want to spoil Cee’s experience and whatever fantasy. The food came and I don’t even remember what we ordered; I was so nervous. Being around my ex pretty nearly always had me being a nervous-jervis or something. But the two women seemed to be enjoying themselves. Then we were presented with the wine. We drank it, me more than the two of them.“So,” said, Abigail. “Harriet and Jeffrey are pregnant,” she said.“Yes, with twins,” I said. “I heard that just yesterday.”“Really?” said Abigail. She clearly had not known that particular piece of juicy. "Oh Jon, please don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known who was shooting at you. We all knew last night who was dead, 'cause that little runt, as you called him, couldn't wait to tell us. I don't blame you for what happened, Jon, I blame her. All these years she could have contacted me or written, or even come to visit. But no, she and her so called boyfriend tried to kill the only father I have ever had. Jon, I love you like you are my real dad and that won't change because of this. I.
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