I didn't talk to anyone about my dream, but it was troubling me a little. I kept thinking about how near I'd come to actually seeing my mother's face....It didn't occur to me that it was simply a dream, unconnected with any reality. I started thinking more and more about the woman who was my birth mother.I'd never admitted it before, but I had been very hurt and troubled over the idea that someone had just decided to give me away, after I was already three years old. What was so wrong with me. Cindy ordered a 24-ounce margarita. When the waitress had walked away I asked, ‘Whatcha celebrating?’ She smiled and asked, ‘Is it that obvious?’ When I didn’t reply she continued, ‘Dad is getting to be quite the handful now. He turned 82 yesterday, that’s why we’re in town.’ She stopped smiling. ‘He is deaf as a post and watches Fox News all day with the TV blaring. He yells at the talking heads screaming racial slurs at anyone who isn’t white. You know, all Muslims are terrorists, all blacks. Philippa giggled. "Being a boy is so boring it looks like Kate was rightto become a girl!" she said. "So I decided to borrow one of her babydolldresses as I guess we will be sharing clothes a lot more now."Philippa didn't have the same feelings about wanting to be a boy as I didabout wanting to be a girl. I guess for some people trying on clothes ofthe opposite gender once or twice is enough and whilst my sister had beenkeen to experiment with the experience of being a boy she had. What a pity TK doesn't work out of sight to the extent I'd need to be able to tap Julia's shoulder from here. I couldn't tell from here where Julia was, including where her shoulders were, so my invisible fingertips would have to blindly feel their way around the room, finding girls, and then feeling them up to find out if they were Julia, which would certainly increase the noise level coming from that room. It was a stupid thought, but I was nervous and not sure how to kill time. While I was.
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