Maybe it was all the reading I did in my life that permitted me this anesthesic model of depersonalization, even at this most personal of moments. Add...that to the benefits of reading, I guess. It helps you live vicariously—and die, distantly, as a spectator.I know. I stopped addressing you, my Reader, my Rapist, for a couple of interior paragraphs there; I'm sorry. I needed a few private moments to collect myself, my thoughts, my whatever.I'm back now, struggling, but weakly, almost out of a. “No, go on, ask whatever you want,” she said.“Can I buy you another drink?” Elga asked, waving at a waiter.Sienna was having difficulty with most of his questions but not that one. Another wine? Was this his ploy to make her even more available? “A coffee, please.”He pursed his lips in surprise, “A coffee?”The waiter came to the table, immaculate in white, and without thinking about it she said, “Make that a white wine.” Her thoughts didn’t seem to be her own.“Good,” Elga said and gave the. “I ... umm, I don’t know what you’re thinking just now, but...”“Look, Steph ... I’m not thinking period at the moment. I need some time to sort things out, you know? I mean, I love you, I truly do, and I wouldn’t hurt you for the world; Candy too for that matter. But, I...”She kissed me then, not passionately, at least not at first, but sisterly, but it got heated when I attempted to prolong it and soon Candy was hugging the both of us and I kissed her too.The next thing I knew I was playing. And eat she did, in abundance with freshly baked Prime Rib and scallped potatos stuffed with Gorgonzola cheese, followed by a whopping portion of sweet shrimp and crab legs smothered in whole butter. The poor child probably hadn’t eaten in at least a week! She rest her head in my lap and asked, ‘Why did you choose me, Monsieur Le Blanc? I’m just a plain and simple girl that nobody cares about and I don’t even think this is true, only a fantasy in a dream that only happens to other girls, not.
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