So, Deenie stood beside me the entire night and we engaged in a visual conversation of sultry smiles and other things. Every time Deenie reached for h...r drink, she exposed herself a little more. I adjusted and parted my legs a bit but, not too much because I was wearing a skirt. Deenie was facing me, and somehow, her crotch ended up on my thigh, an accidental move so I thought. I felt the soft cotton of her thong brushing against me. She threw back the last corner of her drink, leaned close to. Finally, mom and dad came in the room and told me that they had let my brothers and sisters spend the night with relatives and friends so we could be uninterrupted. That really made me nervous and I started crying again. Mom came over to me and told me that they were both shocked that I had done that in church and that they were humiliated by what had happened. I leaned on mom's shoulder, crying and mom placed her hand over my shoulder in a comforting way which made me feel better for sure.. The only thing working against me was my own traitorous body, which was pumping adrenaline out into my blood like I needed it to live.The anxiety worsened once I was called and placed in an exam room. I sat on the table, looking around at my surroundings, fidgeting nervously. There were anatomical charts posted everywhere, drawings made by small children, a sink, a box of gloves, examination instruments. I tried to focus on some of these things, willing myself to relax but it was to no. I’d been thinking about those eyes for months, they were burned into my brain. But here I was, looking right into them. They did not disappoint. Good God, I love her. I want to marry her… I want to help her. She’d been out of town for quite some time, family trouble or something like that. The whole time I was miserable. Before she left, we did everything together, I was always with her, but being the big stupid retard that I am, I never sat down and told her how I felt. Then she was gone. She.
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